Thursday 6 March 2008

McFeng-shui

A Californian McDonalds has employed a feng shui expert to improve their customers’ fortune. The fast-food restaurant, now awash with water features and bamboo plants, hopes the oriental technique will improve their patrons’ luck. Presumably, if you have a Happy Meal there now you’ll actually burn-off calories thanks to the restaurants energy flow. That, after all, is the kind of fortune most McDonalds lovers need.

I tried to feng shui my pole once, but every expert had different ideas. It became very confusing. One day my waterfall was in my right hand, the next in my left. With the lucky bamboo in my other hand, it was difficult to use my laptop, especially as it was balanced on my head at the time. To be honest, I spent most of the time worrying I would drop my money tree, which wasn't cheap after all, and any benefits were somewhat lost on me.

BigMac with slanty friesBut I do wish the restaurant luck: I believe they will need it; an arbitrary arrangement of expensive ornaments will be somewhat wasted on customers who are too busy suffering from obesity-induced total coronary failure to notice. McDonalds needs all the oriental-placebo it can get.

Personally, I don't hold with any of that oriental nonsense. I'll stick to good old-fashioned meditative communication with the infinite, thank you very much! That's something I can truly believe in.

Besides - I prefer Burger King.
Marcus

3 Comments:

The Rock Chick said...

You crack me up :)

I haven't been inside a McDonald's in a long time. I just go thru the drive thru---they even have parking spots for the drive thru customers because they employees are so tired from slinging those supersized bags of fat and cholesterol that they can't keep up with the lines. It's really amazing.

I'm nowhere near California, but if I were, I would probably stop in and see the fung shui McDonalds!

Linda said...

Why am I not surprised that this McDonald's would be in California?

I tried doing a little feng-shui around the house here but it doesn't appear to have really done me any good as I am still so totally out of balance that I can barely stand up straight!

Anonymous said...

Rock Chick - I have never considered a Career in McDonalds as an exercise plan before. I imagine however that anyone would get tired when you your only source of nutrition is Meal Deals with Staff discount.

Linda - Finding it hard to stand up straight? Seeems like you've got your feng swayed