Showing posts with label Review. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Review. Show all posts

Monday, 25 August 2008

Madonna gets sticky. Sweet! - A review.

On Saturday, I went to see Madonna.

Now I know what you're thinking, but it wasn't to finally talk her out of Kaballah. Instead it was for the opening Gig of her new tour, Madonna - Sweet and Sticky. One of my wife's friends had brought too many tickets, so we snapped them up, left My Little Girl with the next door neighbours (who spent the while time telling her how useless I was,) and I booked a coach to Cardiff to see the Queen of pop.

Eventually, Almost 2 hours late, Madonna appeared on the stage.

The show was more extravagant than my Wife's cooking, and almost as scary. Through more than 20 songs. 16 dancers, and and more costumes than any 50 year old women should own, the highly sculpted icon forced herself onto the crowds consciousness. The women seems to be obsessed with sex, as she spent most of the concert writing on the floor. Either that or possibly she is epileptic. But there is something about Madonna that defies belief. Any other women of her age miming intercourse with men as young as me would be sold in the cross-gen section of the porn shop, yet, somehow, Madonna still eludes the sexiness of a teenager. You almost feel like you'd be arrested if you slept with her.

Madonna Monkey at Sticky and sweet.Controlling the crowd like the bitchy Argentinean First Lady she once portrayed so incorrectly, she worked her way through more remixed Pop than Coke-a-Cola as 5 Massive LCD screens floated around the stage, allowing her to perform pre-recorded duets with the likes of Kayne West and Justin Timberlake. and you can imagine my excitement when Britney Spears appeared on the screens as part of a new concept video for Human Nature.

Not to say that the show was all meaningless fun. The fourth act opened with a shameless plug for Barrack Obama, the man who obviously can't be President, and during Like a Prayer, the LCD screens tried to convince the crowd that all religions are the same thing, a ridiculous assertion which any Guru would tell her. The only true religion is the one that particular Guru Supports.

But no matter how controversial her politics or her remixes, Madonna has still got it. Despite being old enough to be my mother (I can certainly imagine her packing my lunchbox) her Dance version of Like a Prayer, and her Rock and Roll edition of Hung Up on You, left the crowd down on their knees begging for more. And when the LCD Screens closed around her one final time with 'Game Over' flashing on them like an antiquated Arcade machine, you knew that Madonna had years left in her yet. Like the old jukeboxes that used to play her records, all you need is another quarter and Madonna can entertain you all night long.

Marcus

Humor Blogs keeps on dancing

Friday, 25 July 2008

Why I don't rate Wall-E

I’ve always loved Disney, ever since I watched The Little Mermaid on repeat while my parents 'faced off' in the kitchen. It was a poorly-made, pirated copy and had an episode of Casualty taped over the last few minutes (for years I was convinced Prince Eric had to have some Kidney Stones removed) but I loved it none the less.

So, the other day, I took the family to see Wall-E

And this 'Charming, audacious, and timely' Pixar release was largely underwhelming.

Now I'm not a movie Expert. This may surprise you; I am, after all, an expert on the infinite, which includes, by definition, pretty much everything, but I live off my Pilgrims donations (and the Dole) so by the time I've paid for my Snack food, Pole Tax, and subscription to Playboy, I barely have enough left for a second car, yet alone a Movie.

And when I do see movies, I normally agree with the Critics; it is, after all, much easier than arguing with them.

But for all its character, emotion and beauty, this artistic animation is lacking something:- laughter. There are less laughs in the movie than in this blog post and I left the theatre eager to get online and read some fundamentalist Religious blogs so I at least had something to laugh about that day.

Wall-E left me sombre, confused, and slightly Gassy (cinema soda does that to me). While an amazing creation, it lacks ‘Disney Magic’. (And having just had Disney magic shoved down my throat for 2 weeks I know what it should feel like.)

But my wife, my Little Girl and all the critics (except one) loved it. So, maybe, I'm alone in this.

But then, being a genius, years ahead of the popular opinion, I'm afraid loneliness is inevitable. Be it Wall-E, Religion, or Chunky Soup, I’m up on my pedestal waiting, thinking, and very, very alone.

At least, that is, until the neighbours start shouting abuse up at me from the lawn. But then they liked Ghost Ship, what the hell do they know...

Marcus
More laughs than overly pretentious Disney movies can be found at Humor Blogs.com