Wednesday, 26 March 2008

Helping Stacey Come

Dear Guru

Will Stacey be allowed to come tommorrow?

Darrenshine

What is stopping Stacey coming I wonder? Does she have an overly strict mother? A selfish lover? Is she forced to stay at home and cook for the children?

Does Stacey trust you? She may not want to come if she feels nervous around you. Stacey. As pictured by Google. Google has a vivid imagination however.When I feel anxious, I talk to my stuffed snake, Luke. Maybe you have a stuffed snake Stacey can talk too? Maybe stroking your snake will help her feel more relaxed about coming? Try to find an average sized snake however as most woman feel intimated by very big ones.

Perhaps Stacey is agoraphobic? Does she panic when she opens the door and sees how far away the horizon is? If so this would be why she cannot come as she cannot leave her house, and it may be necessary for you to come to her instead. Blinkering Stacey may help here! A riding crop may be needed however to make her come and keep her focused.

Maybe Stacey believes coming will send the wrong message. A woman must be careful, at least until marriage, after which she will probably never come when you want her to again. If she feels she can trust you she will come eventually. Treat her to some wine, this has encouraged many women to come before.

If however, it is Stacey’s mother stopping her from coming, more drastic measures are required. Engage all your charm by letting her mother come first. By giving her mother this honour and letting her come before her daughter she will be able to see you are a caring, non-threatening, morally erect gentlemen, and Stacey will be allowed to come before you know it. As an added bonus, this 'let them come first' technique works on fathers and husbands too.

Hope this helps.


Marcus

7 Comments:

Gorilla Bananas said...

An adult woman should not have to ask permission to come. Let her come whenever she wants as long as she knows when to go. She should not overstay her welcome.

jams o donnell said...

Sage advice Guru, I hope that it helps her come. Whether she stayd or goes is of course a different matter. Stroking the snake will surely help!

Anonymous said...

Mr Bananas - I've been trying to tell my wife that for years.

Jams - I always feel better I've stroked my snake.

P.L. Frederick said...

Hey there, guru! Small & Big has officially updated your URL to the one that works. Thanks for letting me know! =)

P.L. Frederick (SMALL & big)

Grimm said...

You must be careful here, as it may be imparative that she comes first before you. You don't want her parents to think to are overly anxious and by coming prematurely, it may disrupt their trust.

Like you said, it's best to try and coax her to come, by showing her you are safe and harmless.

Anonymous said...

P.I - Many thanks

grimm - This has been a problem for you before i can tell....

Dale said...

I think you have to be assertive and make her come. She won't want you left holding the bag.