A brief history of the Freelance GuruNot long ago, I sold insurance for a living. This was as awful as it sounds and twice as depressing. Then, one day, the toy snake on top of my monitor smiled at me. Right then, I realised I was wasting my life in a cascade of career prospects, pay packets and plastic tasting coffee. If a stuffed toy with no job and no money was happy why could I not be?
Despite my wife's protests, I quit my job and erected a Guru's pole in my garden, a more complicated task than you may imagine. Taking only those things essential to life, such as my mobile phone, my laptop and my Nivea intensive-care moisturiser, I climbed atop of my hermits’ erection and set myself to finding enlightenment.
Several days later, I achieved my goal.
Now, I return to my pole 8 hours a day (with the exception of Bank Holidays and weekends) to change the world. My mission is simple: I will enlighten all who come to me. Through the wisdom of the infinite, and with the aid of Luke, the toy snake who revealed my path to me, I will teach them all the error of their ways. Together, we will discover their destiny.
I am the Freelance guru − fountain of knowledge in the desert of ignorance, giver of light in a land of darkness, and the best mantra chanter in the south-west of England.
Allow me to enlighten you.
The Purpose of the Freelance Guru Blog
This blog is for those who cannot walk the hazardous path to my back garden, yet seek my infinite wisdom.
In its pages I answer the questions of all that come to me. Any who seek answers will find them here, and even those who seek nothing will leave wiser than whence they came. Through this blog's message even the most lost of Pilgrims may find his own path to the infinite.
It is a place for me to share new enlightements, teach the wisdom of the infinite to the searching masses, and keep me occupied during Pilgrim downtime.
It is the blog of the Freelance Guru. And it is the greatest gift the Internet will ever give you.
